Wednesday, 26 September 2012

I like you, like a lot

We’ve all liked someone, right? In fact it’ll be more than just one person for the most of us. If you haven’t, and you’ve actually decided you’re asexual then I apologise for the pointlessness of this post. Just close the window now. However, for the rest of you, do read on- I’m gonna’ talk about something you’ve definitely considered. Is there ever a right time to tell someone that you like them?
Here’s a little anecdote. Picture the scene: it’s summer, and it’s a holiday camp in Spain. Not proper camping (I’m not hardcore enough for that), just a mild sports camp. About two days in I tell my closest friend on camp- I’m going to call her Lucy- that I sort of totally like this guy on camp, because I felt like it was time I was open about something. Let’s call the guy I like John.

Then, on the third day I was sitting with, Bill, Ben, Lucy and John around a ping pong table. My friend then decides to say out loud to the guy that I like, ‘John, we need to have that talk’- which both phased and intrigued me. Bill asked what they were talking about, and Ben said that they were talking about me. Of course my mind was suddenly full of things a little more aggressive than ‘what the firetruck?’- I was fuming that she was getting herself involved and telling him.

Ben and I walked towards my friend and the guy I liked, to a patch of grass in the centre of the camp. Ben then said, ‘we’ll leave you and John to talk,’ and Lucy and Ben left John and I in the middle of this empty patch of grass. There was literally nothing I could do to avoid the situation. So after about three minutes of my mind cursing my friend for having betrayed me I looked him dead in the eye. Yeah, by this point it was pretty damn awkward.

So I just came out with it, and said straight up that I liked him- and felt pretty proud that I’d been so brave. So, diddums to me he basically turned me down and told me that he just wanted to be friends. This frustrated me further because that’s what I wanted too- not even a cheeky snog behind the bike sheds. I literally didn’t want anything more than to be friends- promise.

However, as the conversation divulged my mind suddenly realised something. My friend hadn’t actually betrayed my trust. They hadn’t actually been discussing the fact that I liked him. I had randomly brought up in a one to one conversation that I liked this guy- to him. I was literally facepalming myself all over. It became so awkward that whilst he used to like make me ‘happy’ when I saw him (you know the feeling you get when you see a hot guy opposite you on the train), that instead I actually began to feel sick when I saw him. I even had to sit next to him on the plane back. Although, by then, I had managed to somehow turn the situation back on itself, and we were pretty cool. I was actually trying to match make him with other girls.

But that’s beside the point. The point is, whilst I don’t regret telling him I liked him, I’d have to advise you against doing it yourself. It’s a ‘don’t try it at home situation’. My guy was a good kind of guy, and I’m a friendly kind of girl so we were able to repair the relationship. But for the rest of humanity, who I know are a little more awkward, this probably wouldn’t be the case.
So I’d advise against it. Here are a few reasons:
1.    What if you tell them that you like them, and they don’t like you? No matter what you think, it becomes awkward. Either because you’ll get upset that they turned you down, or because they think no matter what you say after that that you are determined to tie them down to you, get married and have two children called Samantha and Richo.
2.    It can pretty much ruin your friendship- sometimes people begin to believe that the only reason you were their friends in the first place was because you wanted to get with them. I mean, that might be the case, but hey ho, some of us also like friends.
3.    Some people don’t like those who are too forward, they like to do the chasing. In fact some people think that asking someone on a date is less forward than going straight out there and saying that you like them. I don’t really understand this logic.

Then again, it might work for you. At which point, well bloody done and go away, because it definitely didn’t work for me.

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