Sunday, 30 September 2012

Guy friends versus girl friends

I was debating how to write this without a) sounding overly American and b) not sounding too odd. You will see that I’ve given up on the latter. However, I feel I shall start at the beginning as it seems a very good place to start. Friends are questionable. I'm not sure what it is at makes a person less of a Facebook-friend and more of a real-life-living-human-friend. Yet, occasionally it does happen. And it's always debatable, whether girl friends are better or guy friends are better.
Now, I have a selection of friends (you don't believe me, do you?) I could choose from to illustrate my points. They're from different walks of life. I've known some for years and some for weeks but I'd consider them a relatively friendly bunch. Mad as hatters but friendly as deranged Labradors.
The thing people say they hate about girl friends is the gossiping and bitching. I'll just put it out there, my girl friends and I are no worse bitchy gossipers than my guy friends and I are. To be honest, the guys are probably worse. In my old, all girls school, it took about a week for a rumour to circulate. In my current school (ratio, 6 guys:1 girl), all gossip spreads like wildfire. It's not a particularly small school. There's 180-ish in each year group, but everyone "knows" everyone else's business. Whether it’s true or not is another matter altogether.
Also, to refer to Genie's article written a few weeks back, people do assume that guy friends are more than just your friends. When you wander down the road with them people give you that look. You know the one. The one where they're evidently thinking, "that girl must be such a slut" because out of the 14 people wandering down the road together, 2 of you are girls. On a brighter note, (actually, that would depend how you look at things...) I don't think I could ever really fall for any of my guy friends. They're all lovely and that but they're friends. Just friends. Just the thought of dating any of them makes me want to cry laughing. There's always going to be a difference to a guy "friend" and a guy friend.
One benefit of girl friends would be the fact you pretty much have the ability to discuss anything and everything and get away with it. I was stood in our common room the other day with one of my best girl friends discussing the see-through-ness of our school shirts and bras to wear underneath them. My guy friends upon hearing this either a) stood awkwardly not knowing how to respond to the conversation, or b) made a leery old man comment on how we should take our jumpers off so they could check. Our response to that was that they'd have to wait until the summer.
Also, you have the guy OTT sport thing when it comes to the fellas. I don't feel I need to go into depth with this one. It kinda just is. And we all know it.
However, I do love having guy friends over girl friends sometimes. I love getting a male viewpoint on all my dilemmas. And it's all the better if they're straight as that's exactly what they'll do, give it to you straight. Whereas, girls would try and sugar coat it, guys will just be blunt and sometimes that's what's needed. Maybe not for days when you're feeling fat or something...
"Am I fat?"
Girl: " no, your figure is amazing! I wish I had curves like yours" etc etc
Guy: "yes"

I'm not sure that would help your self esteem too much. However sometimes it's just nice to have a point of view which isn’t peppered with superlatives and high pitched screaming.
In the end, the conclusion I came to was that you need both. A healthy balance of guys and girls so you can fight, flirt and bitch until your heart's content. Surviving off of one kind would be like, Mickey without Minnie, Tom without Jerry. Oreos without milk. However, with guys around the house you can count on the Oreos being gone and you just getting the milk. The bottomless pit that is friendship.

Written by Mini

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