Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Life Lessons- Dream big, but not too big

I’m fed up with it. Literally filled to the brim with the annoyance of it. It’s that never-ending question of what you want to do when you’re older. For most of the future doctors of the world, they already know. Well, they should already know- by the a level stage. But me, and a hella’ of a lot of people don’t. Funny thing is, ask someone the question of what they would do if they didn’t have to worry about money, and they could tell you straight away. Well, not exactly straight away. I asked a couple of lads in my school that question, and they sort of just froze- quite literally. They’d never been asked that, never mind that, they’d never even considered it: what they’d truly love to do with their life.

Look, it’s fair enough. We all have to live somehow, but boy oh boy do people crush my dreams. I’m constantly told by family that I shouldn’t be afraid to chase my dreams, and being in a job which I enjoy is better than being in a job which pays you a lot. However, the exact same people almost had a heart attack when for four months when I was ten I told them that I wanted to be an actress.

I get it, I do. Not only was that a phase, but I pretty much suck at acting. My mama always told me that I never don’t want to look pretty. I mean, why would I actively want to look like a green witch? Also, the acting industry is a hard industry, but which industry isn’t? I really don’t know. There are more stable careers- that’s a definite. But you still have to work hard to get wherever you want in the world.

So, what’s my on-going problem if I no longer want to be an actress? Oh, just wait. I’ve always been an imaginative kind of child. I’m so much more than just a daydreamer, I daydream about fictional worlds with fictional people. It’s kind of where I belong. I literally think in film.

When I went into one interview for a sixth form and they asked me what I wanted to do in the future, I told them that I was interested in publishing. The guy told me that it was a hard industry and we began to discuss the fact he had been reading about the difficulties of the industry, but he wasn’t entirely negative about the route I wanted to go in. A few days later, I went to another interview and was asked the same question, to which I gave the same response. This was met with the man telling me that ‘there’s not a lot of money in that.’ I could have smashed his perfect ball point pen into two perfectly equal lengths.

What killed me even more is that publishing is actually the mildest route of what I’d actually want to do. I’ve got multiple routes I’d love to take.
1.    Publishing (we’ve already established that)
2.    To be an author, playwright or screenwriter.
3.    To direct films, theatre or tv.
4.    To either edit or write for a magazine.

As you can probably deduct, my others routes are far less stable, but they’re also ridiculously rewarding in my mind. I’ve always had the theory that you could have had an extremely successful job which has made you bloomin’ rich, but once you get older and retire, what are you gonna’ do? I mean there is the ‘I’ve been poor and unhappy, and rich and unhappy, and poor is definitely better,’ but you can’t go chasing those dreams you once had, surely you’re just filled with regret? It’s only a theory; please don’t take this as the god’s honest truth.

So I really can’t decide what do, to dream big or to dream sensibly. If I dream sensibly I’ll probably end up with a 9 to 5 office job where the only pleasure I have is being able to dress up in high heeled shoes, which will probably do my feet in. So there’s another negative. Yet, if I dream I’ll realistically probably only end up releasing two not very successful books, and write short movies which not many people watch. That, or I’ll end up unemployed.

What’s a girl to do? I s’pose there’s always a place for everyone in Amsterdam.

Written by Belle

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