Saturday, 3 November 2012

Staring is caring

I was always brought up with the phrase, "It's rude to stare" but that went along with, "it's rude to whisper" and other odd things. Over the years I feel that whispering has proved itself to be a worthy and useful part of life. It's not always particularly insulting and sometimes you're saving people an awful lot of embarrassment by whispering rather than shouting about it. So I concluded there must be a similar idea with staring.
I admit that staring is a very bad habit of mine. Most recent example being the very hot shirtless guy on camp at the weekend. You know when you feel like gluing your eyes to someone for the rest of eternity? Yeah, that bad. Bad to the extent that one of the guys I was with physically grabbed my face and removed it from this guy's hipbones before positioning himself between me and the rather drunk and unsuspecting hottie.
Now, if we look at that story, I wasn't being particularly rude. I was appreciating the fantastic form of the human body. Is that not what Darwin was blabbering on about with the survival of the fittest and natural selection? I just naturally selected to stare at the hot shirtless guy. Comprende?
However, my friend who stopped me drooling, didn't feel I was being quite so caring. I assume he was one of the members of society that still feel staring is rude. When I questioned him later about it, he told me it made him feel insecure. That cracked me up no end considering he'd agreed to do an assault course in a mankini the next day. His reasoning was that by selecting out one person and gawking at them the rest of the people felt cut off and isolated.
The only other negative I can think of with staring, is if you're doing it for the wrong reasons. If someone has a disfigurement or isn't what you'd term 'normal' (but to be honest, what is normal?) that's no reason to stare. I would agree in that respect that staring is very rude. You don't know why they're like that, for all you know they could have lost a limb fighting for their country or they could have a rare genetic disease. There's no reason to be rude by pointing things out, that's more likely to make people insecure than you staring at people for positive reasons.
I however, will continue with the fact that staring is caring. Now we all have a personal preference, but if a hot person walks past, I'd say about 90% of the population would stare after them, just to get a better look. My mam once described it to be like window shopping, looking but not touching. That was so she had an excuse to stick newspaper cuttings of Johnny Wilkinson to the side of our fridge. And as I am my mother’s daughter, I'll go with her reasoning. Staring is appreciation, and it should be used for that purpose only. Staring is caring and caring is fun.


Dose of Glam said...

nice post and great blog

Dose of Glam said...

great blog

Emily said...

I get what you mean, i was brought up on the phrase we're all animals" and that essentially men will always look at attractive females and vice versa. However i think that there are different types of staring, as you mentioned staring at someone with an ailment or disfigurement. I guess the word staring has lots of negative connotations; you think of creepy, ignorant people and weird horror things from bad movies (the face staring through the window). For me, i think there is a difference between staring and looking and i think that the length and intention of what you are doing are part of that too. If that makes any sense? haha

Mini Thoumine said...

I completely understand where you're coming from. I feel there needs to be anther word, because -like you said- the word staring has some rather negative connotations and sometimes, you totally don't mean to be negative x

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